Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Wrath (Latin, ira)
It is not fair that none of it works. It is not fair that for 20 years my body has betrayed me, that people judge me and make assumptions about me on sight, it is not fair that I have missed out on so much due to my own preconcieved ideas. It is not fair that I can't dress up and be the pretty wife my husband deserves. It is not fair that nothing fits, and I have been told my two doctors that just holding my weight steady is a huge success, because of the PCOS. It doesn't feel like a success to see the scale holding steady or even dropping by 1/2 to 1/4 of a pound a week when I am doing what 'mathmatically' should result in 8-10 pound drops each week! I want to say 'what's th point', but I know that if I were not doing what I am doing, the scale would continue to climb at 2-3 pounds a week. IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!
The kids wrote essays yesterday about how betrayal is an external and bitterness is internal. What happens when the betrayal is also internal? How do I keep the bitterness I feel at my body's betrayal from destroying all the things that are beautiful and wonderful in my life?
Okay, that's it. My wrath has been out long enough, it is time to put it back in its little box and get back to work.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Sloth (Latin, acedia)
More than other sins, the definition of Sloth has changed considerably since its original inclusion among The Seven Deadly Sins. It had been in the early years of Christianity characterized by what modern writers would now describe as apathy, depression, and joylessness — the latter being viewed as being a refusal to enjoy the goodness of God and the world He created. Originally, its place was fulfilled by two other aspects, Acedia and Sadness. The former described a spiritual apathy that affected the faithful by discouraging them from their religious work. Sadness (tristitia in Latin) described a feeling of dissatisfaction or discontent, which caused unhappiness with ones current situation. When St. Thomas Aquinas selected Acedia for his list, he described it as an "uneasiness of the mind," being a progenitor for lesser sins such as restlessness and instability. Dante refined this definition further, describing Sloth as being the "failure to love God with all one's heart, all one's mind and all one's soul." He also described it as the middle sin, and as such was the only sin characterised by an absence or insufficiency of love.
As I read this passage, over and over, I knew that my bedroom was the perfect shot for this sin. When we first moved in I had such high hopes for this room, but for one reason or another it kept being the room to 'put the junk' out of sight. It got over crowded and out of control. Over the last couple years as my responsibilities have increased, it is the room I have let go the most. The rest of the house is almost always presentable and well cared for. My bedroom is ignored, put off, forgotten about. There is not one thing I can put my finger on and say 'that's why', but it does stem from Dirk and I putting everyone else's needs before ours. Dirk's being sick just added to my disinterest in caring for my bedroom...which makes me feel bad because, I think I should care for it more. I love my husband more than life itself, this room however doesn't reflect that at all.
A couple's bedroom represents so much more than a place to sleep. I don't think I have thought about that in a long time. It is the only place we have in this big house that is private, ours, separate from others...and yet it is the area that I hate to go into now, avoid, dread, have lost interest in...that is the sin of sloth and I didn't realize how slowly it crept into my life.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
The sins
From wikpedia
The sins
Lust is usually thought of as involving obsessive or excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature. Unfulfilled lusts can lead to sexual or sociological compulsions and/or transgressions including (but obviously not limited to) sexual addiction, adultery, bestiality, and rape.
Dante's criterion was "excessive love of others," which therefore rendered love and devotion to God as secondary. However, lust and love are two different things; while a genuine, selfless love can represent the highest degree of development and feeling of community with others in a human relationship, Lust can be described as the excessive desire for sexual release. The other person can be therefore seen as a "means to an end" for the fulfillment of the subject's desires, and becomes thus objectified in the process. In Purgatorio, the penitent walks within flames to purge himself of lustful thoughts.
Gluttony (Latin, gula)
Modern views identify Gluttony with an overindulgence of food and drink, though in the past any form of thoughtless excess could fall within the definition of this sin. Marked by unreasonable or unnecessary excess of consumption, Gluttony could also include certain forms of destructive behavior, especially for sport, or for its own sake. Substance abuse or binge drinking can be seen as examples of gluttony therefore. The penitents in the Purgatorio were forced to stand between two trees, unable to reach or eat the fruit hanging from either, and were thus described as having a starved appearance.
Greed (Latin, avaritia)
Greed is, like Lust and Gluttony, a sin of excess. However, Greed (as seen by the Church) applied to the acquisition of wealth in particular. Thomas Aquinas wrote that Greed was "a sin against God, just as all mortal sins, in as much as man condemns things eternal for the sake of temporal things." In Dante's Purgatory, the penitents were forced to kneel on hard stone and recite the examples of avarice and its opposing virtue. "Avarice" is more of a blanket term that can describe many other examples of sinful behaviour. These include disloyalty, deliberate betrayal, or treason, especially for personal gain, as the case when someone lets oneself be bribed. Scavenging and hoarding of materials or objects, theft and robbery, especially by means of violence, trickery, or manipulation of authority are all actions that may be inspired by greed. Such misdeeds can include Simony, where one profits from soliciting goods within the actual confines of a church.
Sloth (Latin, acedia)
More than other sins, the definition of Sloth has changed considerably since its original inclusion among The Seven Deadly Sins. It had been in the early years of Christianity characterized by what modern writers would now describe as apathy, depression, and joylessness — the latter being viewed as being a refusal to enjoy the goodness of God and the world He created. Originally, its place was fulfilled by two other aspects, Acedia and Sadness. The former described a spiritual apathy that affected the faithful by discouraging them from their religious work. Sadness (tristitia in Latin) described a feeling of dissatisfaction or discontent, which caused unhappiness with ones current situation. When St. Thomas Aquinas selected Acedia for his list, he described it as an "uneasiness of the mind," being a progenitor for lesser sins such as restlessness and instability. Dante refined this definition further, describing Sloth as being the "failure to love God with all one's heart, all one's mind and all one's soul." He also described it as the middle sin, and as such was the only sin characterised by an absence or insufficiency of love.
The modern view of the vice, as highlighted by its contrary virtue zeal/diligence, is that it represents the failure to utilize one's talents and gifts. For example, a student who does not work beyond what is required (and thus fails to achieve his or her full potential) would be slothful.
Current interpretations are therefore much less stringent and comprehensive than they were in medieval times, and portray Sloth as being more simply a sin of laziness, of an unwillingness to act, an unwillingness to care (rather than a failure to love God and His works). For this reason Sloth is now often seen as being considerably less serious than the other sins. (See Tower of Babel)
Wrath (Latin, ira)
Wrath may be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger. These feelings can manifest as vehement denial of the truth, both to others and in the form of self-denial, impatience with the procedure of law, and the desire to seek revenge outside of the workings of the justice system (such as engaging in vigilantism), fanatical political beliefs, and generally wishing to do evil or harm to others. A modern definition would also include hatred and intolerance towards others for reasons of race or religion, leading to discrimination. The transgressions borne of Wrath are among the most serious, including murder, assault, discrimination, and in extreme cases, genocide. (See Crimes against humanity.) Wrath is the only sin not necessarily associated with selfishness or self interest (although one can of course be wrathful for selfish reasons, such as jealousy). Dante described Wrath as "love of justice perverted to revenge and spite".
Envy (Latin, invidia)
Like Greed, Envy is characterized by an insatiable desire, they differ, however, for two main reasons: First, Greed is largely associated with material goods, whereas Envy may apply more generally. Second, those who commit the sin of Envy desire something that someone else has which they perceive themselves as lacking. Dante defined this as "love of one's own good perverted to a desire to deprive other men of theirs." In Dante's Purgatory, the punishment for the envious is to have their eyes sewn shut with wire, because they have gained sinful pleasure from seeing others brought low.Pride (Latin, superbia)
In almost every list Pride is considered the original and most serious of The Seven Deadly Sins, and indeed the ultimate source from which the others arise. It is identified as a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to give compliments to others though they may be deserving of them, and excessive love of self (especially holding self out of proper position toward God). Dante's definition was "love of self perverted to hatred and contempt for one's neighbour." In Jacob Bidermann's medieval miracle play, Cenodoxus, Pride is the deadliest of all the sins and leads directly to the damnation of the famed Doctor of Paris, Cenodoxus. In perhaps the most famous example, the story of Lucifer, Pride was what caused his Fall from Heaven, and his resultant transformation into Satan. Vanity and Narcissism are prime examples of this Sin. In the Divine Comedy, the penitent were forced to walk with their heads bowed while they were whipped in order to induce feelings of humility.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Thursday Thirteen (guilty pleasures)
2) I enjoy watching Sweet 16 on MTV, usually just to see out of touch with reality the girls are, but sometimes it is just to see how out of touch I am :)
3) Antonio Banderas...I will watch, happily anything he is in, evenhis really bad movies and the little bee comercials. I love his voice and his eyes.
4) Reading trashy romance novels...the less literatry value the better. It helps if they are set in faraway times and places.
5) Deal or no Deal.... I do not have any clue why I sit and watch this, except that trying to match the bank offer is fun. I am usually very close. I love finguring out the odds.
6) Animal planet, That's My Baby birth stories of all the cute animals.
7) Googling random things or thoughts to see where it leads me.
8) Surfing blogs... both of those I know and those I don't know. Random blogging is always a treat when I am bored.
9) Algebra...I know, it is really embarassing, but I will get Algebra books out and do problems when I am alone just for fun.
10) Making s'more in the fireplace on cold nights. Dark chocolate and homemade marshmallows on cinnamon graham crackers make them healthy..right :)
11) Challenging kids to see another side on an issue by playing Devil's Advocate. I will take a position I totally disagree with so that they have to defend what they believe. It is fun because they are always trying to figure out what I 'really think'.
12) Eavesdropping the kids conversations from another room. The house is set up with a very open plan and I can hear things from even another floor. They know I can hear, but often foget it.
13) Talking to myself in public. It used to drive people crazy..or they thought I was crazy, but now with phones and bluetooth stuff it is stranger to be quiet in public.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Thank you Laura!
Chastity (Latin, castitas) (purity, opposes lust, Latin luxuria) —
Courage and boldness. Embracing of moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of thought through education and betterment. Practicing proper love and its expression due to one's spiritual vocation.
Abstinence (Latin, frenum) (self-control, opposes gluttony, Latin gula) —
Constant mindfulness of others and one's surroundings; practicing self-control, abstention, and moderation.
Liberality (Latin, liberalitas) (will, generosity, opposes greed, Latin avaritia) —
Generosity. Willingness to give. A nobility of thought or actions.
Diligence (Latin, industria) (ethics, opposes sloth, Latin acedia) —
A zealous and careful nature in one's actions and work. Decisive work ethic. Acting energetically without excessive reflection.
Kindness (Latin, patientia) (peace, opposes wrath, Latin ira) —
Forbearance and endurance through moderation. Resolving conflicts peacefully, as opposed to resorting to violence. The ability to forgive; to show mercy to sinners.
Patience (Latin, humanitas) (satisfaction, opposes envy, Latin invidia) —
Charity, compassion, friendship, and sympathy without prejudice and for its own sake.
Humility (Latin, humilitas) (modesty, opposes pride, Latin superbia)
Modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. Giving credit where credit is due; not unfairly glorifying one's own self.
Saturday, February 3, 2007
what I have been learning from my camera....
So far it has been a lot of trial and error with a lot more error. My camera is an older 4 pixtel Kodak Easy Share because that was what was on sale when I first bought them as Christmas presents for the girls. It was in the house for a long time before I would even pick it up. I was happy with my slrs that use 'real film', even though I am not in the darkroom and haven't been in about 7 years.
Now I am addicted to the ease of the digital. I have a feel for what the camera can do, however I am still learning everyday! I am ready to start using Photoshop with the same excitement I used the darkroom. Dirk is going to load it onto 'my computer' today sometime.
Last weekend I was doing action shots. Here are some of the things I learned:
As bad as stage lighting is a gym is MUCH worse. Using the action setting for the stage with no flash, clicking 3 breaths before I want the picture I can usually catch the shot. I also have to hold my breath and wait a couple more seconds before moving the camera to keep the shot as clean as possible.
Using the video capture and then choosing the frames works best in the gym. Flash, no flash, close-up, far away it didn't matter. The only thing that gave me any usable shots was the video.
When on the auto setting with no flash I got prettier light and movement on stage, but if they were moving too fast it was just streaks. Auto setting in the gym....nothing but grey!
I learned, by playing, instead of the manual, that I have a setting closer than tele. I am not sure what they call it, but it is D on my screen. I just learned that I can have all the information I am used to seeing inside my slr on my screen. That was very helpful as soon as I figured out what the numbers and scales meant :)
Here are a few of the photos I hope help explain.....
Setting was auto no flash
Auto with flash
frame of video
frame of video
Super-close up with flash..I was in a the first row of the balcony pretty far away.
same here
