Sisters

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day,

drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As

they talked about life, about marriage, about the

responsibilities of life and the obligations of

adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her

glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance

upon her daughter

'Don't forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling

the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll

be more important as you get older. No matter how

much you love your husband, no matter how much you

love the children you may have, you are still going

to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now

and then; do things with them.'

'Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women...

your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other

women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women

always do.'

What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman

thought. Haven't I just gotten married?

Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a

married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely

my husband and the family we may start will be all I

need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact

with her Sisters and made more women friends each

year. As the years tumbled by, one after another,

she gradually came to understand that her Mom really

knew what she was talking about. As time and nature

work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman,

Sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world,

here is what I've learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:

Time passes.

Life happens.

Distance separates.

Children grow up.

Jobs come and go.

Love waxes and wanes.

Men don't do what they're supposed to do.

Hearts break.

Parents die.

Colleagues forget favors.

Careers end.

BUT.........

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how

many miles are

between you. A girl friend is never farther away

than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you

have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life

will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,

praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on

your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the

valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk

beside you...Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,

daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,

Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended

family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and

neither would I. When we began this adventure called

womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or

sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we

would need each other.

Bar Stool Economics

Bar Stool Economics: Our Tax System Explained

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

 The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.

 The fifth would pay $1.

 The sixth would pay $3.

 The seventh would pay $7.

 The eighth would pay $12.

 The ninth would pay $18.

 The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed
quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.
'Since you are all such good customers,' he said,
'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.'

Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so

the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.
But what about the other six men - the paying customers?
How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33.
But if they subtracted that from everybody's share,
then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.
So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill
by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

 And so:

 The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).

 The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).

 The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).

 The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).

 The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).

 The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free.
But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

'I only got a dollar out of the $20,'declared the sixth man.
He pointed to the tenth man,' but he got $10!'
'Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man. 'I only saved a dollar, too.

It's unfair that he got ten times more than I got'

'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two?
The wealthy get all the breaks!'
'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison.
'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks so the nine sat down and
had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill,
they discovered something important.
They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, 
is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes
get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them
for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.
In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

  David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
  Professor of Economics
  University of Georgia

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I just got this from a blog a read. It was easy and fun.

Sorry no original thoughts lately, most too personal even for here.

Hey I am 6:49am....

You're the time of day right around sunrise, when the sky is still a pale bluish gray. The streets are empty, and the grass and leaves are a little bit sparkly with dew. You are the sound of a few chirpy birds outside the window. You are quiet, peaceful, and contemplative. If you move slowly, it's not because you're lazy – it's because you know there's no reason to rush. You move like a relaxed cat, pausing for deep stretches that make your muscles feel alive. You are long sips of tea or coffee (out of a mug that's held with both hands) that slowly warm your insides just as the sun is brightening the sky.

17% of the people who took this quiz got the same evaluation.

If you click the banner you can take the quiz too, let me know your results!

Memory Lane

This library is next door to where Nathan practiced today. I don't think it is an exaggeration to say that a huge chunk of who I am was formed in this building. My first introduction to art was here, my first acting classes were here, my reading skills were developed here, my sense of self was probably discovered here.....I know my LOVE of books was nurtured here.
This passageway was my "Alice Tunnel", let's follow it....
After going through the dark and spooky tunnel (at least to a 7 year old it was) you come out into my play yard.
Here is the Great Tree that listened to all my secrets. She blooms with the largest pure white magnolia flowers you have ever seen each year. (Funny aside, the green building in the background was were Kayleigh had her 1st non-college apt. and the church in the background is an Episcopal one. It shares the parking lot with the Catholic college)
The window in the middle was my mom's office window.
This was the door to the Covenent, but now it is the Nursing Dept.
The second floor on the left, where the windows look a little greener, is the chapel. At least I think it is still a chapel. I didn't get to go in and look.
Then back through the "Alice Tunnel".
Another view of the Library and Science buildings. Where I learned how rats are tested for psychology and I participated in many experiments too.
After coming out of the tunnel, if you look the other way, you see the other library I spent quite a bit of time at. It is the city's main public branch.
A little more background story.....This is Spalding College (now Spalding University), my mom got a job here when I was 7 yrs old. I rode the city bus from my school to the bus stop about 6 blocks from here and then walked, checked in with my mom, then ran the campus. I was almost 13 years old before I was allowed to go home after school. I think I was only allowed then because my sister was finally in school and rode a school bus and I had to be home to babysit her.

It has only been the last few years that I have understood the impact of my early freedom and of literally growing up on a college campus. I was never treated like a child, I was allowed to walk into just about any class I wanted as long as I was quiet, I ran errands for the office workers, studied with the college students, modeled for art classes, participated in psychology experiments, worshiped with the Sisters, had formal tea in the formal drawing room two afternoons a week, and just wondered and wandered......

One week.....

It has been one week since my last entry. I was talking to someone today and we kept asking each other 'where did January go?'

January 1st-4th were spent getting ready for Kayleigh's visit and the 12th night feast for 30 guest.

January 4th-6th were spent visiting with my friends and family.

January 7th was my last semi-normal day for a long time.

January 8th I spent the whole day starting at 7 am with my mom on and off the phone with nurses trying to control the nausea and pain. At 6:00pm we called EMS and they took her to the hospital.

January 9th was spent talking to medical staff for my mom who wouldn't--could talk for herself ad was still in quite a bit of pain, until about noon....then she was finally given something strong enough to knock her out.

January 10th I heard, "your mom has a few months" a couple hours later "well, maybe it is closer to a few weeks" a couple hours later "just a few day"..... I spent the entire day in uncontrollable tears.... I was there for her last rites service and when they moved her to the Hospice Inpatient Care Center..... I finally went to bed for the first time in over 60 hours.

January 11th-13th I was saying goodbye to my mom, bonding with family and friends, sharing grief through tears and laughter.

January 14th-19th I visited with more family and friends, I put together a scrapbook of photos of my mom's life, my sister and I planned Mom's memorial service, I tried to sleep, I tried to get started on the mountain of paper work that goes with a death.

January 20th, I spent with friends and family with a great breakfast, then the beautiful service, then more quiet time with special friends.

January 21st I baked and baked and baked then delivered the baked goods to the hospital and hospice center.

January 22nd more important visiting and grieving.

January 23rd-25th I started back with my 'normal schedule'. It felt odd in a way, but so right in another. Slowly, the kids have talked about mom, the way we miss her and things are different without her here.

January 26th was all about paperwork, paperwork, paperwork!!!!

January 27th I was very sick, still more paperwork, and then spent the evening at a dance exhibition.

January 28th back in the groove with the kids, we were so busy it was hard to keep up.

January 29th a few students, but mostly paperwork, phone calls, searching for lost papers, trying to schedule appointments.....my dad came over and took me to dinner and let me just ramble.

January 30....today...full 'normal' day......for the most part that is what I think tomorrow will be like, and the day after that and so on and so on....

It has been a full life changing month, but it has only been a month...actually only 17 days since she died...it feels like it didn't really happen, that it just happened, and that it happened a lifetime ago...all at the same time. I am SO ready for Lent!

I guess that is where January went......I wonder if linear time will ever make sense to me!

Mom's Memorial service

The service itself was based on the Burial of the Dead: Rite Two service from 1979 BCP. My sister and I however, tweaked it to fit our needs and feelings about our mom. We wanted a service that not only expressed what she was about, but also help comfort and bring together those who were mourning her.

First my sister and I asked for a full Communion Service, it was great that the Bishop who presided over her service thought it was a good idea too. In his homily he told everyone there that by coming to the communion rail they would be as close to Mom as possible since all time is eternal during Communion, we celebrate with all the company of heaven.

The first two readings were common enough for a typical funeral. The first being:

The First Lesson Isaiah 61:1-3

The spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and release to the prisoners; to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to provide for those who mourn in Zion – to give them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit. They will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, to display his glory.

The second being the 23rd Psalm in the King James Version. The next two readings, however, were very unusual for a memorial service and the Bishop wasn't sure at first, but after the service he told us how powerful they were in combination and for a Memorial especially so.

The Epistle 1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Gospel Luke 12:22-31

He said to his disciples, ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? If then you are not able to do so small a thing as that, why do you worry about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you – you of little faith! And do not keep striving for what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not keep worrying. For it is the nations of the world that strive after all these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, strive for his^* kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

The music was perfect too. The organist played her Celtic selections before and after, Amazing Grace jut before the Gospel, What Child Is This (music only) during the preparing of Communion, Let us Break Bread Together after Communion, and Lord of the Dance (there is a link to the lyrics if you don't know the song) as the Recessional.

Since there was no grave site to go visit, we had a reception in the Parish Hall of the church. More than 2/3's of the over 175 people who attended, stayed to eat, drink, hug, cry, laugh, look at pictures and just be with each other. I felt so much love, peace and support it was amazing. The reception was a gift from a 40 yr plus friend of the family and her daughters. The set-up was simple, but condusive to mingling and sitting down for more serious conversations. There were people there from all the different areas of my mom's life and all the different times in her life. People who often fought with her, but loved her just as passionately, were the ones I think that will miss her the most.

As I was talking to a friend after it was all over, the thought came to me that in her brief 60 years she did live a full life. I find comfort in the Trinity of the Goddess (maiden, mother, crone) my mom spent almost exactly 20 years in each 'phase'. She completed the cycle, for me that more than anything brought comfort, peace, and closure. She left nothing undone.

My sister Susan and 'other' sister Jennifer.
My sister and long time family friend Michelle.
My step-dad and my mom's adpoted mom, Ginny.
Athena with her dance teachers (these are also the wonderful women-minus one- who prepared and cleaned up the reception!)
Bishop Reed and other member of our old parish St. John's.
Athena with many of her friends who all called Mom grandma or Aunt Barb.
Me with a very close friend that I don't get to see very often anymore.
Jennifer and her kiddos.
Nathan, his girlfriend and his grandpa on his father's side.

Kayleigh, George, and Dirk's Dad, Papaw.
Amber, Kayleigh, Brandon, MaryRose, P't...all of whom called Mom, Grandma.

Current (and one former) students... I think it was good for them to see how many people, and different types of people, loved Mom and wanted to say goodbye.