One week.....

It has been one week since my last entry. I was talking to someone today and we kept asking each other 'where did January go?'

January 1st-4th were spent getting ready for Kayleigh's visit and the 12th night feast for 30 guest.

January 4th-6th were spent visiting with my friends and family.

January 7th was my last semi-normal day for a long time.

January 8th I spent the whole day starting at 7 am with my mom on and off the phone with nurses trying to control the nausea and pain. At 6:00pm we called EMS and they took her to the hospital.

January 9th was spent talking to medical staff for my mom who wouldn't--could talk for herself ad was still in quite a bit of pain, until about noon....then she was finally given something strong enough to knock her out.

January 10th I heard, "your mom has a few months" a couple hours later "well, maybe it is closer to a few weeks" a couple hours later "just a few day"..... I spent the entire day in uncontrollable tears.... I was there for her last rites service and when they moved her to the Hospice Inpatient Care Center..... I finally went to bed for the first time in over 60 hours.

January 11th-13th I was saying goodbye to my mom, bonding with family and friends, sharing grief through tears and laughter.

January 14th-19th I visited with more family and friends, I put together a scrapbook of photos of my mom's life, my sister and I planned Mom's memorial service, I tried to sleep, I tried to get started on the mountain of paper work that goes with a death.

January 20th, I spent with friends and family with a great breakfast, then the beautiful service, then more quiet time with special friends.

January 21st I baked and baked and baked then delivered the baked goods to the hospital and hospice center.

January 22nd more important visiting and grieving.

January 23rd-25th I started back with my 'normal schedule'. It felt odd in a way, but so right in another. Slowly, the kids have talked about mom, the way we miss her and things are different without her here.

January 26th was all about paperwork, paperwork, paperwork!!!!

January 27th I was very sick, still more paperwork, and then spent the evening at a dance exhibition.

January 28th back in the groove with the kids, we were so busy it was hard to keep up.

January 29th a few students, but mostly paperwork, phone calls, searching for lost papers, trying to schedule appointments.....my dad came over and took me to dinner and let me just ramble.

January 30....today...full 'normal' day......for the most part that is what I think tomorrow will be like, and the day after that and so on and so on....

It has been a full life changing month, but it has only been a month...actually only 17 days since she died...it feels like it didn't really happen, that it just happened, and that it happened a lifetime ago...all at the same time. I am SO ready for Lent!

I guess that is where January went......I wonder if linear time will ever make sense to me!