I missed the picture of Athena covered in flour using a rolling pin to make buttermilk biscuts :) I assure you it is not a sight that happens very often.
Kayleigh loves to cook, Nathan is an excellent cook, but Miss Athena neither loves it nor is very good at it. So, why you ask were the two of us cooking all day (baked a chicken, started enough flour for 6 loaves soaking, made 6 dozen biscuts, jello, and a chocolate bundt cake) ......Two basic reasons, one it allowed us to avoid doing the taxes again today and second when we do 'money or business stuff' neither one of us are relaxed enough to just talk.
We needed to talk today. It has been exactly one week since she made a very foolish choice that landed her in deeper trouble than I think she has ever been in. I have had a week to process, put things in perspective, and calm down. She has had a week of no phone, no computer, no driving, no going anywhere without one of us present, extra chores, extra school work, and extra cooking duties. To her credit she has fulfilled all her responsibilities and restrictions beautifully. Not one single complaint, not one single pushing of boundries, not one attempt to break our agreement of earning each one of her privileges back.
We had a nice long talk while cooking today. I think she has turned the corner on childhood and is firmly on the path of young adulthood. She accepts responsibility for her choices, she understands the wisdom of making different ones, and she also seems to comprehend that it is important to choose your friends wisely. What more could I ask of her? Seventeen year olds screw-up, but they also need the room to grow and repair as much of the damage as they can.
Today, I am at least as proud of her as I was disapointed last weekend. In less than 9 weeks she will graduate, I know she will be ready, she will have truly earned it. I will stand up in front of God, our family, and our friends and say to her "Today, you are a woman. This moments marks your giant step into the adult world. You are now responsible for your life and your choices." I still remember saying those words to Kayleigh 4 years ago. I occasionally have to remind her when I get the 'what should I do' phone calls that I will offer my opinion, but it is just than another opinion.
I flat out refuse to tell them what to do after graduation. I have had old students call me too, and the answer is the same for them. I will talk you through the pros and cons, I will offer an opinion if you want it, but the choices and consequences of those choices are yours. Good, bad and indifferent, when you ask others to tell you what to do you are no longer responsible, you can blame the other person, you will live with self-doubt, and you will always wonder 'what if'. When you weigh the options and make your own choice you build strength, wisdom and character.
Well, the taxes didn't get done today, but more important things did.
Kayleigh loves to cook, Nathan is an excellent cook, but Miss Athena neither loves it nor is very good at it. So, why you ask were the two of us cooking all day (baked a chicken, started enough flour for 6 loaves soaking, made 6 dozen biscuts, jello, and a chocolate bundt cake) ......Two basic reasons, one it allowed us to avoid doing the taxes again today and second when we do 'money or business stuff' neither one of us are relaxed enough to just talk.
We needed to talk today. It has been exactly one week since she made a very foolish choice that landed her in deeper trouble than I think she has ever been in. I have had a week to process, put things in perspective, and calm down. She has had a week of no phone, no computer, no driving, no going anywhere without one of us present, extra chores, extra school work, and extra cooking duties. To her credit she has fulfilled all her responsibilities and restrictions beautifully. Not one single complaint, not one single pushing of boundries, not one attempt to break our agreement of earning each one of her privileges back.
We had a nice long talk while cooking today. I think she has turned the corner on childhood and is firmly on the path of young adulthood. She accepts responsibility for her choices, she understands the wisdom of making different ones, and she also seems to comprehend that it is important to choose your friends wisely. What more could I ask of her? Seventeen year olds screw-up, but they also need the room to grow and repair as much of the damage as they can.
Today, I am at least as proud of her as I was disapointed last weekend. In less than 9 weeks she will graduate, I know she will be ready, she will have truly earned it. I will stand up in front of God, our family, and our friends and say to her "Today, you are a woman. This moments marks your giant step into the adult world. You are now responsible for your life and your choices." I still remember saying those words to Kayleigh 4 years ago. I occasionally have to remind her when I get the 'what should I do' phone calls that I will offer my opinion, but it is just than another opinion.
I flat out refuse to tell them what to do after graduation. I have had old students call me too, and the answer is the same for them. I will talk you through the pros and cons, I will offer an opinion if you want it, but the choices and consequences of those choices are yours. Good, bad and indifferent, when you ask others to tell you what to do you are no longer responsible, you can blame the other person, you will live with self-doubt, and you will always wonder 'what if'. When you weigh the options and make your own choice you build strength, wisdom and character.
Well, the taxes didn't get done today, but more important things did.
1 comment:
You definately attended to the most important thing today. I am glad this week has ended on a really positive note.
I like your attitude about how to listen and offer wisdom but not make the decisions for young adults. I strive for that type of relationship with my daughters that are in college now.
Hope this week is nice and peaceful for you!
Susan
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